Posted by Deleteduser89324b 7 years ago Report

Nice work, do you take requests?

Posted by Estee 7 years ago Report

Thanks and sadly no. My writing mood kinda comes and goes and I would be too concerned about getting into a low right in the middle of working on a request.

Posted by VoraciousSincerity 7 years ago Report

Estee, if I ever meet you in real life and with your permission, I will give you a great big smooch right on the nose! This was an awesome work by August and you've gone and made it into a story greater than I could've imagined!

Posted by Estee 7 years ago Report

Thank you very much. Personally I think this one is my best work yet. AugustBebels comic was very inspiring in that regard.

Posted by VoraciousSincerity 7 years ago Report

I was very surprised you wrote something like this, with disposal and all. Most of your other work didn't have it, and I never expected it from you.

One thing your story did that really shocked me was when you had Twilight continue her POV after she disposes of Fluttershy, the comic certainly didn't do that!

Posted by Estee 7 years ago Report

I wanted to make this story with Twilights POV from three different angles. Observer, predator and prey. That is why I decided to repeat the first scene with her.

Posted by VoraciousSincerity 7 years ago Report

Well, I love it!

Posted by sevensix 7 years ago Report

Might you link to this from the comic (here and on Derpibooru)?

Posted by donutbrittle 7 years ago Report

As author and commissioner of Two Urns, I would have thought you would need permission from me, not August. You're in a lot of trouble, mister.

Okay, not really, because you totally have my retroactive permission to write this new, hot text version of the story featuring characters I don't own anyway! I particularly liked that you could focus on Twilight's second time around, which couldn't really be done in comic form. Bravo!

Posted by GilPix 6 years ago Report

Very cute and messt!

Posted by sevensix 6 years ago Report

...Meßt?

Posted by VoraciousSincerity 6 years ago Report

Just to give some advice though on the story Estee, I was re-reading, and I noticed you have some serious issues with tense in your story: -Twilight was wondering how it will feel inside, as she was being moved around by her future selves squirming. She'll(She'd) find out soon enough, for now it was time to savor the experience.- Would be one example.

Another problem is that you put periods at the end of characters talking, then capitalize things like "she said". Another is that when you miss capitalization for Future and Present Twilight when they're both on the scene. I think you also could've turned some parts that express a character's thoughts into italicized speech, it would've better expressed the meaning.

Last thing:-"Well, I came here to confess something. You see, I've been having feelings for you for a while now." Twilight started, letting that piece of information sink in first. Fluttershy immediately began to blush as she heard of her friends crush on her.

"Twilight... I never realized that but... I am happy to hear that." She answered, shaking slightly with excitement.-This conversation is a little vague on what it's trying to convey, it doesn't directly have Fluttershy say she shares Twilight's feelings.

Don't mean to criticize, just saying you might want to keep that in mind next time. Your story is of course still amazing, so a few mistakes don't really cause too big a problem for it.

Posted by sevensix 6 years ago Report

VoraciousShapeshift wrote:
Another problem is that you put periods at the end of characters talking, then capitalize things like "she said"

Posted by donutbrittle 4 years ago Report

Well, they're writing about time travel. That's actually correct usage of the Future Semi-Conditionally Modified Subinverted Plagal Past Subjunctive Intentional tense, which wioll haven be the appropriate tense in this case.

Posted by liwenyu 1 year ago Report

I know this is a comic from eight years ago, but I still want to say that Twiligh should have brought Weng back when she hadn't pooped yet, so Fluttershy wouldn't miss the chance to see herself being pooped.