“We’re on route to Venice! Nobody’s following us, right Mista?” Giorno asked his friend, Mista “All clear! We just have to get to the station and pick up whatever the boss what’s us to find!” “Good, it’s a straight road so we should get there in no time!” they had to get there as fast as possible, before any more of those assassin pricks showed up! They already had to deal with the likes of Illuso and whatever earlier, who knows who’ll come for their asses next? Oh, well, speak of the devil. “H-hey Giorno, mind cranking up the heat? It’s freezing in this car!” “That’s weird…” he looked at the side windows, they were fogged up “Why is it cold like this? We’re in the middle of spring in the mediterranian!” Giorno turned up the heat, but the car was still cold “Come on, Giorno! I’m freezing my ass off here!” “The heat’s as high as it can go!” “What?! What is going on?!” he rolled the window down to see what the hell was happening, only for freezing cold air to fill the car “FUCK!”
 
 
His fingers were already red like in the middle of a blizzard, and so were his arms, legs, and face. “GIORNO DO SOMETHING” “I’m kind of stuck here too! I can’t move my hands off the wheel, and the brake is frozen stiff! Somebody’s up here with us!” “No shit! He’s not in here with us… so the only place he’d be is up top!” Mista fired six bullets into the roof of the car, he was right about somebody being with them that’s for sure. It was of course, Ghiaccio of La Squadra. The master of being an absolute bitch towards everything and also ice. “Where could you pricks be heading? It’d wouldn’t be to Venezia, would it?~” “You mean Venice?” Mista didn’t know it, but he lit a fucking pipe bomb just now. “NO! I MEAN VENEZIA! EVERYBODY CALLS IT VENICE, BUT THE ITALIAN WORD IS VENEZIA! WHY DO THE ITALIAN PEOPLE CALL IT BY THE SHITTY ENGLISH LOCALIZED NAME?! WHAT KIND OF PRICK EVEN RENAMES SOMETHING SO MUNDANE LIKE THE NAME OF SOMETHING?! JUST CALL IT VENEZIA YOU STUPID PRICKS! LEARN A LITTLE ITALIAN, PUTTANAS!!” Ghiaccio had punched a hole in his own ice barrier, that one meltdown had made it a little harder for Giorno and Mista to resist the freezing cold temperatures of his suit-like stand, White Album. Otherwise known as White Ice- “SHUT UP.”
 
 
“Bro we didn’t even say anything wrong!” Mista yelled as Ghiaccio ripped a hole in the car’s roof with sharp claws made of ice and began to try and tear the two of them apart like a wild animal. “SHIT SHIT, GIORNO PULL OVER, I’M BEING ATTACKED BY A MAN IN A WEAPONIZED FURSUIT!!” “I can’t! The brake is frozen!” “WELL DO SOMETHING!!” Mista tried to riddle the ice man with bullets, but they had no effect, “What the hell?!” “You honestly think you can just shoot through my White Album?! You must be a real fucking idiot!” Ghiaccio grabbed Mista’s wrist and froze it solid. “I could easily break you in half like an apple dipped in liquid nitrogen!” “That’s a very specific threat, my guy!” “Don’t worry Mista, we’ll lose him!” “He’s already in the car, what are you talk abou--” he saw Giorno drive the car towards the ocean “Giorno are you mad?!” “Maybe! Here we go!!” “WAIT WAIT CAN WE TALK ABOUT THIS GIORNO--” too late, the literal 15 year old sent the car flying over the road’s guard rails and into the water, flooding the car. “What the fuck was that for, Giorno?!” “No time to explain, just swim!!” the two began to paddle, “You two must be actually retarded to think you can outrun White Album in WATER!” Ghiaccio froze them in place, “He fell for it, Mista!” “Fell for what?!” just then a bird fell from the sky and turned back into a screw from the car, “Shoot it! Shoot it right into this bastard’s head, Mista!” “Aye aye, boss!”
 
 
As if time was going by at a faster rate than normal, Mista used his gun to shoot the screw into Ghiaccio’s forehead. Pew! Ghiaccio fell back into the water, the ice melting “We must’ve taken him out for now, let’s go look for the object the boss wanted us to find before he gets back up!” “For all the shit he’s already done, I hope the bastard drowns!” they climbed into the street from the water and began frantically searching for whatever the hell they were supposed to find. “Where is it?!” “If I were an object of great importance where would I be…?” Giorno looked at the lion statue. “Oh come on, it’s so obvious..” he rolled his eyes and destroyed it. Meanwhile, Ghiaccio wasn’t dead. “Stupid fuckers, they almost got me, but I’ll get the-” just then a heavy hunk of the statue clocked him in the forehead, knocking him back into the water. “Got the disc! Let’s get out of here before our old pal shows up again.” “Heh, yeah. I’d be surprised if he showed up--” “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA” oh there’s Ghaiccio, concussed and bleeding from the head, sprinting towards Mista with the intent to KILL. “I’M GOING TO FUCKING KILL YOU USELESS BAGS OF MEAT!” He screeched, his black dots we call pupils extremely tiny as he was ready to tear the two apart with his bare hands. Mista freaked out and fired a few bullets into Ghiaccio’s legs and feet as he got dangerously close, making him trip and fall onto Mista. Now Mista was not the best when it came to rational decisions when under pressure, and it was a bit hard to shoot this aggressive hitman without shooting himself.
 
So of course his first thought was to start eating him. Holding him by the arms tightly, the black-haired man pushed his head into his mouth, which was quite the experience when you’re not really used to eating another human being whole. “Wh-what the fuck are you doing you fre-FFMMPHKK!” Ghiaccio thrashed wildly as he was swallowed whole, unable to pull himself free with Mista frantically shoving him down his throat. The blue-haired man squirmed around violently as he was forced down slowly and painfully, last time this happened, it was with Melone and his stupid kink. But now? It was by THIS DOOFUS. What a shitty way to go out!
 
 
“Mista…” “I-I panicked! He rushed towards me like a crack fiend! What was I supposed to do?!” Mista yelled, his belly shifting around as Ghiaccio threw a fucking fit. He was way too weak from being shot, donked on the head with a heavy rock, and eaten whole to summon White Album, so all he could do was struggle. “LET ME OUT YOU PRICKHORSE!” To be fair, Mista did chuckle from his usage of words. “..pfft… prickhorse…” “THIS IS NO LAUGHING MATTER YOU COCKSUCKING MONKEY.” “Bold words from the guy in my gut right now.” Mista patted his belly, “Man, you’re really filling too…” “Shut up!!” Ghiaccio punched the walls repeatedly, yelling and screaming to be let out while Mista merely belched into his fist. “Man, my throat tastes minty… with a slight aftertaste of stomach acid.” “Gross.” “Can you move, Mista?” “Not really, gimme a hand.” “Sure thing.” Giorno helped his buddy up, his belly trying to weigh him back down to the floor. “Geez this dude is hefty, didn’t think I’d eat such a fatass--” “I’M NOT FAT!!” He actually was, probably from him binging on ice cream under the excuse that it’ll hone his stand’s abilities. “Well shit, what are we gonna do while I wait for this guy to digest?” “YOU’RE NOT GONNA FUCKIN-” “Well we got the disc, and Buccellati and the others won’t get here for a while… guess we gotta wait.” Giorno shrugged, resisting the urge to touch his bro’s belly. “Hhhhhh…. God…” the blonde haired teen was pretty kinky in secret it seemed.
 
 
It was those DIO genes of his. They run wild in his bloodstream. “Mista… may I… touch it?..” “Touch what? My gut?” “Yes..” “I mean sure, I guess.” he was kind of confused by this, was this like a horny thing? Yes. Absolutely. It was definitely a horny thing to rub your friend’s gut so he could digest the assassin who was trying to kill them a minute ago. “Thank you.” Giorno placed his hand on his friend’s stomach, patting Ghiaccio down “So soft…” he blushed. “Still surprised you managed to do this.” “I know right??” God, Mista was so stupid, but he was a cute kind of stupid. One you would hug. “Y-YOU FUCKING MORONS!! LET ME OUT OF HERE!!” oh yeah Ghiaccio was still alive. “I’m fucking roasting in here!” “Not my problem, man. You tried to kill us!” Mista punched his gut “Now do me a favor and melt so me and Giorno can get back with this disc, you know? The one you tried to kill us over!” “You’re sicker bastards than me! You’re trying to fucking DIGEST ME!!” “Duh, that’s what you do with stuff you eat. Besides if I let you out you’d try and kill us again.” “...You got me there, you fucking douchebags.” “Whatever, just digest already, I’m already getting bored.”
 
 
Mista pushed against the bulge the man made, groaning. “..Buccellati said it wouldn’t be this loooonnnggg…” “Speaking of Buccellati, if him and the others see you like this they’re gonna have some questions…” “Yeeeaaah it is gonna be weird explaining why and how I ate another man…” “More reason to fucking let me out!!” “Shut up, you.”
 
 
It was not looking good for Ghiaccio, his clothes had melted off and it wasn’t going to be any longer until his skin and flesh would too. “Fuckin’ jerks, I can’t die like this!” He tried to push his way through Mista’s esophagus, but that fucker was tighter than my butthole, so it wasn’t really happening. “I can’t.. I can’t fucking lose…” not like this, not becoming a layer of fat on this asshole’s chest! If he could summon White Album he’d freeze the fucker from the inside out, but that was a pipe dream at this point. He was screwed at this point, “I hope… I hope… I hope I give you the fucking shits, you assclown…” He soon passed out, feeling the stomach walls tighten around his body to melt him down into nutrients. “About time he started to melt, I would have fallen asleep if he took any longer!” “That sounds kind of cute…” “What? I’m not cute, I’m boss and manly as hell, Giorno!” “Yeah but you’re always kind of cute when you sleep…” “I am not!” He lightly pushed against the blonde boy’s chest, a heavy cream fluster on his face. Why did I describe it like that- “..man, now I’m gonna be fat for weeks!” “I could always use Golden Experience to transfer that fat into something else.” “”L-Like what??” “Well…” Giorno thought, Golden Experience gave things life… “Mmm… no… that’d be weird! But I wouldn’t mind if you’re a little chubby…” “Well if you’re alright and think i’m attractive like this then I guess it’s not so bad!” The homies were being in love again.
 
 
But just as they were talking, Narancia finally decided to show up under Bruno’s orders to check on them. “Hey guys! Yo! Mista, you uhhh… gain a few pounds?” Narancia tried not to laugh at how… soft Mista had gotten. “That’s none of your business, dude! Maybe I have!” His sweater barely contained his midsection, now doughy from digesting Ghiaccio. “You guys got the disc?” “Yep, right here! Let’s head to the next location.” “Heh… if Mista will even fit in the turtle pffft--” “YOU CALLIN’ ME FAT, NARANCIA?!” “Yeah, cuz you are! What did you and Giorno get lunch while looking for the disc?!” “No! ...I accidentally ate a man…” “WHAT?!” “Me and Mista were attacked by another assassin and he uhhh… kinda got panicked and ate the guy…” Narancia then proceeded to laugh loudly. “AHAHAHA!! MISTA ATE A GUY!!” “What’s so frickin’ funny?!” “You got so hungry you ate a whole guy you freaking lardass!! Ahahahah!” “I didn’t mean to eat him, I panicked!” “You’re gonna get stuck in the key while you try to get in the turtle, and everybody’s gonna have to pull your fat ass in PHAHAHA!!” “Don’t tell Bucciarati about this or I’ll throw you into the water, Narancia-” “If you can! Pfft!!” “I think it would be a miracle if you were able to hide that from the others…” “Wh-whatever, let me just get in the damn boat already!” “Make sure you don’t tip it over while trying to get in.~” “MAN!!”
 
 
-END-