Archive > YepMcNope > Just Too Irresistible [Halloween 2022]
Expand
Add to favorites | Full Size | Download
< < Previous   Next > >
Just Too Irresistible [Halloween 2022] By YepMcNope -- Report

Or, "The Chameleon Strikes In The Dark"

“Feel bad for some girl stuck in a small town, where everyone around her is someone she knows, constantly starving because she wants to be a good person. Assuming she even knows why she can never eat enough.”

Once again, I must thank  Birichino for inspiring me to write this. This specific quote comes from his "Roommates" series, which I highly recommend.

But that aside, you all must be wondering where I've been. First of all, my apologies for leaving you on not one, but two different incomplete stories, in the form of Human on the Inside and Your Greatest Fantasy. Continuations to those are both in the works, with one being nearly complete, but it's been "nearly complete" for quite some time now frankly, alongside some other in-progress stories of mine.

Between university and other hobbies, I just haven't been able to find the motivation to post here lately, but I will be trying to rectify that soon.

In the meantime, I just KNEW I needed to have this one ready in time for Halloween, so here it is.

Also, I've omitted some spoilers from the tags intentionally, though I'm sure some of you can guess how it'll end.

Comment on Just Too Irresistible [Halloween 2022]

Please login to post a comment.

Comments
skorpio

Posted by skorpio 2 years ago Report

This was really well-written! The buildup and all of Layna'a conflicted feelings were amazing!

YepMcNope

Posted by YepMcNope 2 years ago Report

Thank you so much! I went back and forth on some language to try to really convey that sense of conflict and self-contradiction, so I'm glad to hear it was effective. Traditional horror isn't quite my cup of tea: I'm all about that psychological dread.

TheMysteriousSadSack

Posted by TheMysteriousSadSack 2 years ago Report

Now that gets me thinking: is she living in an Edge of Tomorrow scenario where she goes through with it, things reset, and only the blurry memories remain for the involved? Or maybe its a shared dream and nothing has actually happened. Really cool story either way, love me my build up.

YepMcNope

Posted by YepMcNope 2 years ago Report

Oooh, those are some interesting theories... I won't confirm anything in case I'd like to come back to this idea, but I *love* that I've got people speculating. Thank you for your kind words!

Jakester443

Posted by Jakester443 2 years ago Report

Wow, wow, wow, wow, wow! That was incredible! That was well worth the wait. You so fantastically captured the turmoil of desire. The fear of it. How terrifyingly great it can be. This was a treat to read. Thank you so much for writing and uploading it. Happy holidays!

YepMcNope

Posted by YepMcNope 2 years ago Report

Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you! Love that enthusiasm, haha. Even if I'm not so sure this justifies the hiatus in any way, I'm glad you think so.

It's true: Desire can be terrifying. Isolating, even. And it leads us to think in contradictory ways. I'm really glad to hear you think I captured that.

Observance

Posted by Observance 2 years ago Report

Very cool. I absolutely love this sort of psychological horror, instilling mounting dread and uncertainty until things finally go careening over the edge. Great job!

YepMcNope

Posted by YepMcNope 2 years ago Report

Thanks Obsy! Considering the site we're on there's only so many ways this could end, but I wanted to try to go for uncertainty in spite of that, and I'm glad that seems to have paid off.

Observance

Posted by Observance 2 years ago Report

I think horror media is actually a pretty good parallel in general. Take pretty much any slasher; you can call what's going to happen almost immediately, but the suspense comes less from the *what* and more from things like the *how* and the *why.* Yeah it's a vore story on a vore site, so it's not really a surprise when someone gets eaten, but tension and uncertainty can still exist on the way.

YepMcNope

Posted by YepMcNope 2 years ago Report

Right, right. Horror movies do tend to be that way. Well, except for when the unexpected twist comes at the end, which I tried to capture here as well. Maybe that was a little too predictable too, though...

Birichino

Posted by Birichino 2 years ago Report

I'm really honored you took inspiration from me! Sorry I didn't read this sooner, but things are kind of crazy here too.
It's interesting how Layna starts exactly like the type of girl I had in mind and begins to drift away through her rationalizations and ultimate callousness, and that she seems to have some additional supernatural property with the way her dreams work.
You did a great job at making things really tense, especially during the buildup. It was even kind of stressful just to read! Great work.

YepMcNope

Posted by YepMcNope 2 years ago Report

Thank you so much! And yeah, no worries, I get ya. It's been hectic lately! I still haven't gotten to reading the new update to your game, as much as I'm looking forward to it.

I think my approach to character-focused and subversive writing *in general* is inspired by your stuff, but this time it was a bit more direct. Probably the closest thing to a fan work I've ever written, since the general rules are largely based off of Roommates's concepts, but I wanted to add something to make it original—and to surprise people who were coming in thinking they knew what to expect. As well as leave things off on a classic horror cliffhanger...

I'm glad the tension was so effective! I could have gone with a setting that has more traditionally horror-like supernatural elements, but I wanted to focus on something almost purely psychological this time, which is a harder sell. I flipped back and forth a lot on how to phrase things most effectively, and was never fully satisfied, but the reception has been positive so far, so I'll breathe a sigh of relief for now.

I think it all comes down to the fact that I get really restless over how to best get my thoughts into words, and I never quite get to where I want to be, which makes me really careful (and also kinda verbose) in my phrasing... Even when writing comments like this one, I get a little too intense, but I've gotta post it eventually, so...

Thanks as always!

Birichino

Posted by Birichino 2 years ago Report

I'm really touched that I could inspire you like that. You did a great job on it!
I guess this is a good thing to remember the next time you're apprehensive about testing new waters.

I can relate to wanting everything just right. My natural way of doing things is to charge forward and fix things as they come up, but when posting a work, everything has to be in good shape from the start. That makes it kind of nerve-wracking. I think you're doing fine, though.

Dontplanonposting

Posted by Dontplanonposting 2 years ago Report

I love everything about this story.

The dialogue between the characters

The real genuine feelings they have for each other and how the story progresses in spite of that.

This has to be one of the greatest stories ive ever written on this site by far.

Dontplanonposting

Posted by Dontplanonposting 2 years ago Report

That was a typo i meant to say read

YepMcNope

Posted by YepMcNope 2 years ago Report

Thank you! I'm seriously flattered that you think so!

That's definitely what I was going for, to depict a believable internal conflict. I'm glad to see it resonated with so many people!

MiramieMesmer

Posted by MiramieMesmer 1 year ago Report

Silly Layna! Discipline only works if you stay where you are! Even one step toward the abyss increases its tug on you...

That was really good! A little cliche, but only because the emotions it deals with are such baseline ones. Nothing wrong with cliche in those kinds of contexts!