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Wow. This was just supposed to be another very short story, a basic concept about a funny idea that struck me while I was at work one day. Then I ran into the problem that it was basically nothing but worldbuilding without actual narrative, which was fine since it was just a low-effort thrown-together short-form work so I ignored the problem.
Then, of course, my stupid ass couldn't resist giving it an actual plot and the results are what you see above, something that's nearly twice as long as what I could reasonably call a "very short" story.
Oh well, I hope y'all found it interesting. I know I certainly did.
Image source is that I don't know who's fat ass this is. I suspect they didn't particularly want credit for it after the image was taken, and I frankly just can't imagine why.
(Disclaimer: Any and all resemblances that a particular character or characters in this work may or may not have to real or not real person or persons is definitely your very fake imagination and I don't know what you're talking about, no sir.)
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Posted by p1313 1 year ago Report
this was really nice I hope you write more with this concept, you went a little too on the nose in the ending but other than that great story.
Posted by feauxen 1 year ago Report
What part of the end, in particular, was on the nose? I won't deny that on the nose may very well make up 50% of my writing style, but I'm curious what in particular caught your attention.
Posted by p1313 1 year ago Report
"You really are a vicious, unrelenting cunt of a woman, aren't you, Janek?" they asked somewhat rhetorically as Janek slowly recovered from the shocking blow. "We were happy. All we ever really needed was each other, and we had that. We'd never done anything to you to deserve this. But you and your fucked-up brand just couldn't stomach the thought of someone who was actually capable of filling that bottomless void you have instead of a heart, could you?"
Posted by feauxen 1 year ago Report
Okay now that you've drawn attention to it I kind of want to re-write that line, it didn't really end up conveying what I wanted it to at all.
The dangers of editorial decisions at 4 in the morning...
Posted by p1313 1 year ago Report
show do not tell