Uploaded: 1 year ago
Views: 9,811
File size: 250.00 KiB
MIME Type: application/msword
Comments: 17
Favorites: 149
License: 
Believe it or not, this entire story originated as a simple writing exercise. I just wanted to try writing a story from a first person perspective. Literally that was it.
I happened to be talking with my friend ScoobertMcDoobert at the time I started this and I asked them, "what should I write about?" They suggested a story about a boy finding out the girl next door is a predator. 20k words later, here we are lol. Thanks to Scoob for letting me borrow their OC Auzi for this one.
Anyway, this story has a lot of firsts for me, so please (gently) let me know your thoughts!
Also, yes, definitely hoping to make this a series. I can almost guarantee there will be a Chapter 2 someday, I just can't say when for certain, as I have other projects I want to work on first.
Lastly, I'm accepting tag suggestions because I'm terrible with tags.
Thanks for reading!
Please login to post a comment.
Posted by Gage73t 1 year ago Report
Thia is amazing ^_^
Posted by Daan 1 year ago Report
Sounds like it won't be long before Carter is inside those orbs.
Looking forward to the next part.
Posted by lazarux 1 year ago Report
Please continue ... best story ever read!!
I want more!!!
Posted by spodermen 1 year ago Report
God, i absolutely love this so much! I wish i was friends with her too~
Posted by Killjoy364 1 year ago Report
im pretty sure most people who read this like myself wont be satisfied until he is sloshing around in her nuts XD but all in all a good story
Posted by NonNecessarium 1 year ago Report
This was really good. Had some ups and downs regarding the first-person PoV, but otherwise incredible. Eagerly waiting for chapter 2!
Posted by FoxyCarter 1 year ago Report
Thank you for the kind words! If you don't mind sharing, you said it had some "ups and downs." Would you mind telling me what are some of the things that you think worked, and what didn't? I'd like to know what I did right, and what I can improve on in the future.
Posted by NonNecessarium 1 year ago Report
Of course! To clarify, the writing was great throughout the rest of the story, all I really disliked was the sort of fourth-wall breaking/referring to the audience. I get that it's to do with the perspective of the story, it all being in past tense and being retold, but a couple parts sort of lost that immersion. Specifically the parts after "I couldn't move for 5 minutes"- just that sort of thing. The repetition of the character's obliviousness, blatant referral to the reader, the many little remarks about Auzi's affinity for water, those sorts of things.
Apologies for being nitpicky here, it's just those are the things that didn't quite sit right with me. Everything else though was REALLY good- I can't say I was expecting so much of the early relationship between Auzi and Carter, or for it to be so immersive. I love how that was done. The whole last part was phenomenal too, but I wish there was more of it! Bit of a long comment, but I hope it helps.
Posted by FoxyCarter 1 year ago Report
Not being nitpicky at all, I really appreciate the constructive feedback! I was definitely going for kind of a "fireside retelling" kind of deal with this, but I agree I might've gone a little overboard with it at times. Perhaps I'll try to tone it down in the next installment.
I'm glad you liked the ending. I've never written PoV erotic writing before, so that was a bit of an experiment.
Posted by Matteo42 1 year ago Report
By the bloody gates of every holy waffle...
This is good. Very good, rather. Way too good, actually.
I have very high hopes now. Exceedingly high, because you really did blow me away on this.
My only prayers are that 1) this continues, and 2) he doesn't get churned D: Please Auzi, find a way to let my man live when he gets slurped (it's bound to happen innit)
so ye ^^
Posted by FoxyCarter 1 year ago Report
Thank you for the kind words, I'm glad you enjoyed the story. <3
Yes this will continue. I can't promise Carter's safety, as Auzi's balls are definitely not safe for life, but I CAN promise you that she doesn't have any intentions of churning him... Yet. ;)
Posted by goldmek14 1 year ago Report
I dont know, his absent of gag reflex may indicate that he also should be carefull of the things he put in his mouth. Maybe they both go "hunting" to fill each other hunger
Posted by Sauvegarde 1 year ago Report
I enjoyed all the little tidbits and budding relationship. Really cute.
I'm a bit puzzled as to how the cucumber ended up in both testicles, but nothing a little vore magic can't explain, I'm sure :p
Posted by mynameisjacob 1 year ago Report
How's the part 2 comeing a long, maybe you could do something like her cock and Balls get bigger if she eats anything like a hot dog or other type of meat, including a person. Maybe keep it going until she's like hyper sized or something... Only if you're into that though
Posted by lancasterliu 11 months ago Report
Best story ever read ! please continue their journey. Really hope she cockvore something bigger.
Posted by Nightingale3 5 months ago Report
This is by far one of my favorite stories on this site, hope to see a part 2 hopefully getting to see the consequences of their playing around