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CollegeHumor Cuisine
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“This is you.”
 
A rather lithe girl with black hair and green eyes (Emily Axford) smiles and waves at the camera.
 
“These are your coworkers.”
 
An assortment of women, ranging in size, shape and color wave to the camera, some licking their lips in hunger as they do so.
 
Emily returns the wave, a nervous look present on her face as she does so.
 
“And these are the thirteen coworkers you will meet whilst working in an office.”
 
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Chapter 3: The Freak (Erika Ishii)
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“At the water cooler, she’ll be the one sharing far too much about things you didn’t think you didn’t want to know about until you knew them.”
 
A calm from the perpetual storm that was the workplace quickly vanished into thin air the moment the easily excitable Erika jumped in front of Emily mid-drink, causing the water cup to go flying out of her hands as she stumbled backwards in surprise.
 
“Hey!”, said Erika.
“Did you know blood is actually SUPER beneficial for your skin? I mean, all the super sweet stuff you make when you unbirth somebody is too, but I guess blood is actually super great at spreading proteins pretty evenly across your body if you put it into like a face-mask or something. Totally need to try it next time I'm trying to eat somebody."
 
“Even away from the water cooler though, you can’t seem to escape the freak from blabbering on and on and on and on and on about things you REALLY didn’t want to know.”
 
“Wait wait wait; hold on…”, Emily interrupted.
“Predators wear diapers?”
 
“Well, not ALL predators…”, Erika said, readjusting herself in her chair as she did so.
“Just the ones that don’t mind parading that stuff around for folks to see. Y’know… What’s left of our… “meals”, so to say?”
 
Emily looked blankly at her coworker in confusion.
 
“Are you wearing a diaper right now?”, she asked.
 
Erika clenched her teeth in awkward silence, looking away in a vain attempt to avoid answering the question.
 
“Uh…”, she replied.
“Reply is hazy; try again.”
 
With a mystical wave of her hand, Erika got up from her seat and raced across the office, leaving Emily with even more questions than she did when Erika had sat down.
 
“Okay…?”, she said to herself before taking another drink of her coffee.
 
“Every day, you’re inundated with mindless, kink-craved conversations that, if your Sunday school teacher were to hear them, she might just burst into flames.”
 
“TF’s are actually SUPER fun!", Erika exclaimed.
 
“You ever tried comic book-themed roleplay?”, she asked inquisitively.
 
“Wonder what it would be like to get eaten by one of those giantesses that smash entire cities under their feet…”, the Asian girl said in thought before looking over to Emily, who simply gazed back in a mystified stupor, mouth agape as she did so.
 
“You're stunned, speechless, truly enamored by this woman's brazenness to just get f@$#ing insane. She-“
 
“I think…”, Emily interrupted.
“I think I wanna try that.”
 
“Wait; what are you doing?”
 
“I mean, like- Wait, you’re serious? All of that?”, Erika asked, obviously caught off-guard by Emily’s sudden willingness.
“Like, everything I just said? At once?”
 
“Alright. This is your one chance to expel this kink demon from your life. Just don’t mess it up. Just don’t mess it up. Just don’t mess it-“
 
“Yeah…”, Emily said in breathy reply.
 
“Oh! How could you mess that up?!”
 
“I knew it! Ha! I KNEW you were into the fun stuff!”, Erika cheered before reaching into her coat pocket.
“Okay, I think I got enough time in my schedule to eat you later tonight, but first, you gotta drink some of this stuff.”
 
The kinky Asian reached dig through her pocket with great haste, pulling a bottle out of her jacket filled with all sorts of knickknacks that just looked to be an ordinary bottle of prescription pills.
 
Upon closer inspection, however, the label on the front was clearly marked “ANDERSIL".
 
Emily looked back up at Erika in mild confusion, reality coming back to her slightly when she realized just how mind altering the "diet enhancers" in her hand actually were.
 
“Getting into full bimbo territory usually takes folks a few days, but you should be up a few cup sizes and down a LOT of I.Q. if you start taking that stuff now.”, the Asian explained.
“If you were cool with doing the bimbo stuff.”
 
Emily's eyes went from Erika back to the bottle in her hand, her tongue running across the inside of her teeth at the thought of going "full bimbo" like the temptress had described.
 
“Don’t you do it, don’t you do it, don’t you do it!”
 
With only a snap of the cap, Emily leaned her head back and downed as many of the pills as she could muster, taking note of the oddly cotton candy-esque taste they had to them before looking back to the woman who'd be changing her life tonight (for better or for worse.)
 
“Well, that confirms it.”
 
Emily covered her mouth as a crude-
 
*URP*
 
-blew away some I.Q. along with it.
 
“You have officially lost your f$&@ing mind.”
 
“Sweet!”, Erika said in giddy glee.
“Dude. We are gonna have SO much fun tonight. Like, you will be GLAD that you’re gonna be dead by the end of the night, because I can guarantee, you will NEVER get to have more fun than this, so long as you live. If you DID live after this, which you won't."
 
Her stomach now groaning in hunger, Erika swiftly rose from her chair and blew Emily a kiss goodbye as she pranced off towards the other side of the office…
 
Leaving Emily in a sex-induced haze as the bimbofying pills steadily warped her brain in real time, slowly turning the roots of her hair blonde and clouding any thoughts of doubt she might have had about how the night would go later.
 
“Still, with exploration comes discovery."
 
Erika's delightful whistling as she closed the bedroom door behind her later that night steadily grew more quiet as she turned around and saw what Emily had in store for her.
 
“Holy shit…”, she said to herself as she gazed at the behemoth before her.
 
“Even a freak is impressed by what a numbskull like you is able to pull off at times.”
 
While Erika had definitely expected Emily to have changed a little bit since she went downstairs (blueberry candy tended to do that to most people), the beast that sat in the middle of her bedroom now was so much more than she ever could have imagined.
 
The blueberry inflation had completely taken its course in the minuets that Erika had been downstairs, leaving Emily as a ten-foot-tall ball of flesh dyed a dark blue in color, her pathetic little hands and head (adorned with bouncy hair typical of a bimbo) buried slightly in her spherical form as her BMW-sized breasts spouted steaming hot blueberry juice at a near constant rate directly onto the floor.
 
What amazed Erika the most, however, were the five blue leaves that had grown around where the berry girl's neckline should've been; a true signifier that the blueberry juice flowing throughout Emily's body had ripened about as much as it could.
 
“Oh my God! You’re growing petals already…”, Erika said in shock as she held one of the leathery leaves in her hand for a moment.
“How many of those candies did you freaking EAT, dude?”
 
Unfortunately for Erika, the only answers she could get out of her juice blimp of a friend were girlish giggles and ominous groans emanating from every inch of her body, a floorboard snapping in two beneath her immense weight forcing a rather crude-
 
*BEURP*
 
-up from Emily's throat, causing juice to spill out the side of her mouth and a bubble or two to linger in the air in front of her for a bit before popping.
 
“You know you’re not gonna STOP, right?”, Erika said as she took a cautious step back.
“If you get THAT many candies in you, you're just gonna keep growing until you explode or something?"
 
"Eh heheh...", Emily laughed back with a bite of her lip causing another surge of juice through her body.
"Growing feels GOOD! Hee hee..."
 
A loud groan from the walls around the two caused Erika to clasp her hands together in thought; as hot as turning her friend into a brainless blueberry bimbo was in theory, there was a good chance Emily might bring the house down before she actually wound up in the would-be predator's stomach.
 
“Okay!”, Erika said aloud with an affirmative clap.
“Conversation didn’t work! Guess I’m on to the back-up plan…”
 
With that, the sporty Asian knelt down on one knee and posed herself like an Olympic sprinter on the ground.
 
She flipped her hair back behind her head; this was going to get interesting.
 
“Weekly workouts, do NOT fail me now...”
 
With those last words of motivation, Erika leapt forward and grabbed hold of Emily’s breast before putting her lips to its similarly giant nipple and began to suck, gulping down boiling hot blueberry juice by the gallon with every swallow until those mountainous mammaries were finally deemed “small enough” to get crammed down her throat.
 
Inch by tantalizingly delicious inch, the towering blueberry was quickly packed away into the Asian girl’s gut, every bite eliciting either another belch from Emily or another mouthful of juice to go filling up Erika’s insides, which while it did taste heavenly…
 
Was almost certainly catastrophic to her health.
 
The feeling of warmth that came as the juice worked its way through her veins wracked Erika’s brain the moment she’d gulped down that first mouthful from Emily’s breasts, looking to dance with her DNA and turn her into the same big blue biohazard that her prey had turned into. Spurred on by pure willpower, however, the pred continued, relishing every pound of fruity flesh that was squeezed down her throat and the juice that leaked out alongside it while trying her best to keep the oncoming transformation bottled down deep inside of her.
 
Emily, meanwhile, simply lolled out her tongue and moaned as she was being devoured, the occasional bout of gas doing little to stop her brain from being overwhelmed at the feeling of getting juiced like this; larger and larger, her body continued to grow as it took up space in Erika's stomach, said gut stretching as much as it could to contain all that irresistible blueberry bimbo meat.
 
Not since her last fan meetup had Erika swallowed so much prey in one go before; god, did those nerds get more delicious each and every time she had one of those things...
 
No matter how big she was getting at the moment, though, Erika was determined to get the job done, and with a final bite of her teeth over Emily's head and one final swallow down her throat…
 
The beast was vanquished.
 
Her bed lay in ruins, the entire room was flooded with a steaming hot pool of blueberry juice nearly twelve inches deep, but Emily had been eaten, her rotund body still stretching out Erika's stomach from the inside as Erika herself simply sat back in awe at the feat she'd just performed, wiping her lips dry with her arm as she did so.
 
“Holy fuck. That was amazing.”, Erika said with an affirmative slap of her taught stomach.
“Just try not to pop me while you’re in there, alright?”
 
Emily simply moaned in reply to Erika's sarcasm, her mind too wrapped up in the combined feeling of juice inflating every inch of her body as it pressed tightly against the inside of her friend's stomach looking to grind her down into pulp to notice that she was running out of space to actually grow, slowly encroaching upon the limit that sounded oh so tempting right now...
 
“Now, what was that thing I mentioned earlier? Oh right. Even a freak is impressed by what a numbskull like you is able to pull off at times."
 
What tiredness was flowing through Erika's brain and making her sleepier by the second quickly ran out of her mind as a rather shallow groan emanated from her stomach, causing her taught gut to quake as it took inventory of what was stuffing it so much in preparation for completely annihilating it.
 
All at once, it happened: the ceiling-scraping form that Emily had become collapsed completely in Erika’s stomach as she popped, eliciting the mother-of-all-belches to come blasting out of the glutton’s lips with tremendous force as she digested her prey in an instant.
 
Finally giving the small pool of juice within her its time to shine.
 
In the rush that was digesting Emily, the infectious liquid previously filling HER quickly spread throughout Erika in a matter of seconds, turning every inch of her body a deep shade of blue before pushing outwards in all directions, causing the leather to snap right off of her previously muscular form and splash down into the miniature lake of juice beneath her as she grew.
 
Her feet, head and hands quickly became buried in the burgeoning flesh that blew her up like a beach ball, just like Emily....
 
Her breasts ballooned outwards in front of her, pushing up her juice-filled body slightly and finally giving her the boobs she'd always dreamed of by making them nearly nearly as big as the car she drove to work...
 
Even a line of petals wrapped themselves around Erika’s neckline just as they did Emily’s…
 
In less than a minute, the would-be dominatrix had turned into the very sub she’d been looking to annihilate that night, her bulbous blue body gurgling and groaning as a never-ending spray of juice flowed from her tits into the lake beneath her as she continued to get bigger and bigger with each passing second.
 
Thinking about it with what brain power she could muster (the rapturous feeling of expansion was making it a bit hard to think at the moment), she wasn’t entirely sure what she THOUGHT the outcome of swallowing a giant berry girl was going to be aside from this.
 
Not that winding up as a ten-foot-tall, gaseous juice blimp was all that bad of an outcome for Erika, of course.
 
“Fuck!”, she cooed as another growth spurt coursed across her skin.
“This really, REALLY should not be as hot as it is right no- *UUOOORRRRP* -ow, FUCK…”
 
Before she could linger too long on THAT moment of gluttonous ecstasy, an even bigger one decided to rear its ugly head as a hurricane-force fart erupted from her ass, finally blowing a hole through the wall behind her (previously weakened by Emily's own gas moments before) and causing Erika's eyes to cross as her round body rocked forward from the blast.
 
“Oh, that’s nice…”, she cooed before a crude-
 
*BUORP*
 
-belted from between her lips, sending a big blue something splashing directly into the miniature lake of juice in front of her.
 
Whatever it was might have been a BIT more identifiable as Emily’s skull if it hadn’t shattered into pieces the moment it splashed into the juicy pool flooding the ground, the liquid citrus covering every inch of the bone fragments continuing to melt them down until nothing was left but more juice filling up the floor of the room.
 
"Even with those surprises, though, whatever freak you might have for a coworker will probably wind up dominating you in ways you never possibly could have predicted."
 
~~~ALTERNATE/POPPING ENDING~~~
 
Despite not wearing her leather outfit anymore, the distinct sound of stretching across her skin was tapping through Erika's mind and reminding her of the little warning she'd given to Emily earlier.
 
About the growth not stopping, about popping by the time her body finally reached its limit...
 
She knew damn well what happened to unchecked berry girls when they hit that limit, and to be honest...
 
That sounded fucking PHENOMENAL right now.
 
“Oh… Emily, you SON of a bi- *BEURP* -bitch…”, Erika groaned as she felt herself grow closer and closer to the cusp of explosion, her eye twitching slightly as she did so.
“I really wish I could kill you TWICE for this…”
 
With as mighty a war cry as she could muster, the berry girl finally submitted herself to the throes of ecstasy and let go, hitting climax the second her body gave way in all directions with an audible-
 
*POP*
 
-sending pulpy blue flesh flying against every wall in the room and finally giving enough room for the ceiling to finally come crashing down on Erika’s bedroom with no burgeoning blueberry girl to stress it further.
 
As bad as Erika might’ve felt, dying at the hands of the woman she’d been looking to eat as gallons of blueberry juice flooded her room and steadily dissolved all of the expensive D&D merch that lied within it, at least she died in the most sexually charged and kinky way that she could've thought of.
 
"Although, sometimes, maybe it's best to play things a little safe in the bedroom."