Posted by FurryTastyTreat 7 months ago Report

So happy you did end up posting to gallery! Love how vividly descriptive it is and the concept of one species having to eat another once every so often for certain nutrients. I can imagine that society.

Posted by Trajan 7 months ago Report

Thanks for commenting ! It's a relief that someone appreciated the descriptions, I was honestly afraid that they were too detailed.

Yeah, I thought about the concept of litterally having to eat other humanoids as a justification for vore. Because honestly, why the fuck would you try hunting humans if you didn't have to ?

Posted by IddlerItaler 7 months ago Report

Nice story. I appreciated the worldbuilding and the notes' formatting was interesting.

A pred getting startled because a prey is drooling in their mouth is a very novel idea, and made for a good dark comedy bit along with the tongue-in-cheek style of some of the narration (like "let’s call her Clara" or "this guy frankly had the physique of a wimp"). Even then, the story didn't pull punches in regards to the dark territory it was going into, with passages like "she looked at him like one look at an animal, not with emotions or empathy, but just thinking at how she was going to eat him next."

A criticism/suggestion: maybe mark inner dialogue in some way, like with italics?

Posted by Trajan 7 months ago Report

Thank you for commenting !

I was originally going to try and weave the worldbuilding throughout the story, but I found out it didn't fit well and couldn't be properly detailed so I just ended up isolating it.

Yeah, I like dark comedy and dark humor. Characters being fine and acting normal within horrible situations is probably one of my favourite things to write, and fits particularly well within vore. Also I had legit no ideas what to name the preys. I came with their names while writing because I was annoyed of the confusion of refering to both characters with "her".

I'm relieved that you liked the darkness and that it didn't come off as needlessly edgy. I like tackling dark topics and I have some more ideas about dark stuff going on in this setting, and was worried that it would bore people.

Yeah, good ideas on the italics. I was already planning on putting different fonts for the different languages (the Chatti and the wallians have different languages and different languages within their own species (idk if I will implement it to that second degree)), and italics for inner thoughts is a good idea. Pretty much everything here is inner thought except for the bit between the preys at the end.

Posted by IddlerItaler 7 months ago Report

Lol I get the pain about writing interactions where you have to use the same references for two characters. Could have maybe said "the wallia" / "the Chatti" more times but I'm not huge on overusing that either.

I think that having characters who are sadists and act the part is not necessarily edgy and can be fully within the boundaries of believability. What I tend to find edgy, at least for my tastes, is when an entire setting tries to act like readers are fool if they ever dare to expect any happy ending.

Chatti and Wallians having different languages and cultures would make total sense, though for simplicity's sake it is fair if you only show one group from each - we've had only one story after all. Something I'm curious about is whether the Wallians and Chatti can realize when the other species is talking, or if their speech is deeply unintelligible - not like different language families, but more like trying to decipher a dolphin's whistles.

Posted by Trajan 7 months ago Report

I wouldn't say that she was a sadist so much as she wasn't considering her prey as persons. Cornelia knows they have some form of cognition, perhaps even similar to her own, but they're not the same species and it's both culturally and biologically normal for her to eat them without second thought. She wouldn't act the same towards members of her own species.

Idk if I will have a good ending. I aim for some form of realism : bad stuff and good stuff happens, and things change, both for the better and for the worse.

They have different languages and culture within themselves. I plan on writing stuff that comes to mind when I feel like it, so while I plan on showing it, idk if I'll come to it. I'm a pretty lazy guy.

Their vocal systems are 100 % compatible, and they definitly know that the other is talking they just can't understand it. It would be a case of different languages families. A chatti raised by wallians would speak their language and not the language of the Chatti.

Posted by IddlerItaler 7 months ago Report

Dolphins are often considered sadists in their (mis)treatment of other species, for what it's worth. Wallians aren't rabbits or pufferfish, but even if they were actually non-sapients like Cornelia believed, her behaviour still went far beyond that of a hunter looking for sustenance.

And yeah that's completely fair about realism. Reality is a mixed bag, and "Win some, lose some" is also my sweet spot for stories.

Since you mentioned the hypothetical of a Wallian-raised Chatti, I'm half-curious if intermixing is a possibility (we might find out in the continuation of Cornelia's story either way...)

Posted by Trajan 7 months ago Report

A lot of animals are horrible to other animals (orcas torture their preys for fun, seals rape penguins, etc.), so I'd say it's realistic. It's cavemen logic really, a creature raised in the wild doesn't have a concept of boundaries for other species. It is still cruel and horrible behaviour, but not out of the ordinary for a wild creature. What I meant by not a sadist was that she didn't really derive pleasure from knowing that her prey was suffering, however she did totally make them suffer to pleasure herself (I hope I am being clear here).

Quite frankly I agree with the sadist part thinking about it now, and what I aimed for would probably be summed up as "sadist who doesn't think of herself as sadist"... It's a complicated subject and I hope I won't offend anyone.

To be short, intermixing is impossible, they are too far removed genetically. I've planned to explore interspecies relations a bit more in the next stories (which I'm writing rn btw).


Also I edited the file to put italics in thoughts and a different font for wallians speaking.