g4 :: The noble girl and the wild young man by Trajan

My first try at M/F ! Please tell me if I did good, as it's not really my thing.

Standalone story with a character I probably won't reuse. I had an idea for this plot about a week ago. Thought it would be easily written in an afternoon. Didn't expect to take as long to write. As I finished it at 4 am, there might be some mistakes.

The Lucretia story is still in the works btw, at about 10 pages long, and not even half finished. Idk if I should split it into multiple parts honestly, as it's one continuous story and scene, but it'll also be pretty long.

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Posted by IddlerItaler 6 months ago Report

Interesting intro. I found it pretty smooth-flowing and it easily drew me in.

I like the paragraph from Elisa's PoV, about how wild and lawless the Chatti is, being succeeded by a paragraph discussing Chatti society from Clete's PoV.

Posted by Trajan 6 months ago Report

Cool !

Honestly I mostly put Clete's backstory there because I wanted him to feel more fleshed out before the swallowing, I didn't think too much about the link between the two paragraph when I worte it. But yeah, they complement each other nicely. I was honestly afraid that his backstory would be too long and break the rhythm. Though I guess it all worked out in the end.

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