Posted by Sehnsucht 14 years ago Report

I _like_ it! M/f ain't my forte but then, it wasn't M/f for very long, was it? The chase scene was well done. The idea of timing it against the sunrise was a good one---it meant he had a scrap of hope and lent good contrast to what was otherwise a wild imbalance of power.

Gotta love that tail.

Posted by Imrhys 14 years ago Report

Thank you, and how did I know you'd Love that tail :D

When I originally gave her that weakness, I waffled mightily over it. I hated giving one of my favorite characters ever such a bugger of a weakness compared to her power and list of enemies >_>

Posted by Slash 14 years ago Report

The pacing, and development were great. There was no good or bad characters in here, but preds fighting for dominance over the other. Both of them were so cruel to the other, you don't know who to root for.

Also, that was probably the best fox demon character I've read as of lately. You focused more on the folklore of the creatures than taking over the top artistic licensing most do. Use quiet a few references too. Well done overall. :3

Posted by Imrhys 14 years ago Report

Thank you o////o

I'm so glad the two of them came across as evil, that was one of my goals: to not have a sweet, cuddly, innocent victim.

Fox demon, interesting choice of words. And If I may, could I ask you for what you thought some of those references were? Besides from having the wikip page up and doing some Japanese folklore research- one night worth I think? - I'm thinking my love of fantasy creatures, not mythology, showed most here and... sort of happened accidentally. I didn't intend to write a better "fox demon", but my respect for fantasy creatures guided me in unexpected ways.

Thanks again, your comments made a nervously posted story suddenly feel a lot better :D

Posted by Slash 14 years ago Report

Well, for one, you used refs, such as nogitsune : Free roaming fox spirit. You made a point that it wasn't a kitsune, like so many others often use and abuse. You tried to touch on other aspects of the folklore. Such as inari : God/Goddess of agriculture/fertility. Takauji, appeared to have a loathing for her. Representing that she keeps her darker siblings in line. You made sure he was heavy in japanese decent. Way back when the Japanese had a xenophobic attitude toward foreigners or those that have excepted foreign ways. Which Takauji seem pretty put off about seeing a Americanized Japanese girl. "Gaijin mongrel" smelling the "taint" on her. Ouch, but it went so well with the character you presented. Overall , i felt that Takauji was certainly represented as a folklore character and not a fan-made, cliche kitsune's that are all over the place. Sorry if this was long, but you did ask for my thought right? :3

Posted by Imrhys 14 years ago Report

OMG, this is beautiful, thank you for answering at such length! I'm pleasantly surprised anyone caught his hatred of non pure Japanese was an old world old cultural issue in Japan.

Of course the very next story i am working on does has a very fan-made, cliche kitsune in it >_> I hope you can forgive me.

Posted by Slash 14 years ago Report

Don't worry about what i said, just do what works for you.^^

Posted by ichbinich 13 years ago Report

That was surprisingly enjoyable 8) I sure like this sort of "table turning" stories.
And so brutal C:< Loved the part where the shadow tendrils grow out of his mouth.

Also, nice touch with all the japanese references.
Funny, I always thought of Inari as male, according to wikipedia s/he can be both...the more you know.

Posted by Imrhys 13 years ago Report

I'm glad you enjoyed it. Figured someone besides me had to enjoy brutality even if it does need some re-writing work. And I'm rather found of tendrils. So alien and can sprout from just about anywhere you'd like :D

You are the second person to like the Japanese references, guess that means all that internet research paid off ^^

Posted by Indighost 12 years ago Report

Very powerful emotions. A lot of great stuff in this story. --loved the vomiting scene. --loved the description of the male fox---really reminded me of a racist, sexist, conservative old man. and im'rhys was so incredibly dominant and powerful--just love it. There are some repeated words and a couple sentences that could be fixed, but i would say, overall, this story is technically 99% flawless. In addition, it has a lot of sexy, angry emotions buried in it. In my opinion, any criticism of it could only lay in terms of genre.

Posted by Imrhys 12 years ago Report

Thank you. Yeah, this story probably more than any others needs heavy rewriting. Particularly the ending with the reveal about Angie and ImRhys >_>