Posted by Lighthea 3 years ago Report

Well shoot. seems the spacing got all messed up somehow. I'll figure this out in the future, I hope its still enjoyable as is.

Posted by iliketoread 3 years ago Report

Great little story you've got here! Really like your writing style, its generally paced with good detail and easy to read. I'm not sure if you want feedback or criticism so I'll keep it short and sweet.

Even though the story is rather short, I felt like the characters were coming on to their own well. Feel like I got a basic grasp of each of their personalities so that was sweet. Also, I love teasing in these kinds of stories so I loved the interactions between Lauria and Roel. (Both rather interesting names btw). Only thing I have to say is maybe the pacing was a bit too fast in the more 'intense' scenes but other than that, awesome stuff.

You got me wanting to know what happens next so well done. Curious to see what you'll write next! Oh, and the drawing you uploaded is great. Talented in drawing and writing I suppose?

Posted by Lighthea 3 years ago Report

Thank you so much for thr feed back! Originaly i wanted to drop the full story along witu the drawing, but time consultants made me have to focus on getting the drawing done. I agree the pacing was too fast as a stand alone stoy, that moment in the full story wasnt meant to be "the big moment" that it ended up being because of the separations betweens parts. Maybe when i finishbpart two ill fix the formatting issues amd launch a sort of compleated edition. Glad you liked it and thank you again ^-^

Posted by Lighthea 3 years ago Report

oh god i cant edit messages here. my dyslexic self is gonna have to double check everything

Posted by Animo24 3 years ago Report

This is one awesome story, well done!! I really love that gentle teasing kind of thing. That is sooo great.