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Chelsea, a frog girl, takes a tumble into a river and washes up well beyond her species usual range...
In my defense, I've never had to title anything before.
Story contains disposal, because my brain crashes if I try to write without it. For people not into that, no worries, I stuck some X's on either side of the danger zone. I also stuck a hard digestion tag on here cause... I think it fits? If someone more proficient in tagging things can advise there I'd appreciate it.
My first story on Eka's! On any site, really. Most of my stories are on paper, as the username implies, so I don't have a lot of properly typed work... then again, a lot of the written stuff is so many years old I'm embarrassed to look at it. My newer stuff, though, that's been more on my laptop, so that's the stuff you get to see! I hope you enjoy it, I have a few more finished pieces that I need to take a look over, but they should end up here soon enough!
Edit: Almost forgot, but art credit for the thumbnail goes to openart.ai, since I lack the skill to make my own or the nerve to ask someone for it.
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Posted by doomed 1 year ago Report
Oof poor Ashley , killed for trying to help .
I guess Chelsea is in a world where anthros don’t exist anymore . I wonder if this means humans eat humans ? Or worse how long before she’s caught by the cops lol
Great first story
Posted by PaperWriter 1 year ago Report
Kind of a spoiler, but idk if I'm ever doing a follow-up.
Basically the setting idea was that both countries exist in the same world, but only the highest profile people in each country have any clue about the other one. Chelsea fell in and got washed all the way through no-man's-land, somehow survived the experience, and reaped the rewards :)
And yeah the cops are definitely getting involved if I keep going with the character
Posted by doomed 1 year ago Report
Well I definitely wanna see more even . This setting seems pretty cool , and your writing style is nice . So I look forward to seeing more
Posted by Bright 1 year ago Report
People jogging, the perfect meal for a hungry girl.
Really dig your descriptive writing in the act of devouring.
Posted by PaperWriter 1 year ago Report
Exercise is a great way to increase your nutritional value and decrease your energy for struggling, especially a full body workout like jogging :)
Also, thanks! Probably my favorite part of a story to write, there's just so many ways it can go depending on the people on the inside and out!
Posted by Randomdude5 1 year ago Report
I guess I will do another of my "reviews", if they are good enough to be called reviews.
Floods can be nasty, and it makes a good plot device to wash Chelsea down the river. You did a good job describing how Chelsea struggled against the current all day. Since Chelsea is a frog anthro, it makes sense that she was able to survive much better than a human could.
Having 2 countries where the population doesn't know about the other is a cool idea, but realistically someone would explore and find the other. I know you mentioned a no man's land between them, and it could be illegal to enter it. If it was illegal, then that is where criminals would go to hide, and they might discover the other country. It could be really dangerous for some reason tho. Basically, the higher level of technology that they have, the harder it would be to hide. People might fly over with planes, and discover the other, and satellites would detect any thermal radiation, or light pollution. Having 2 civilizations hidden from each other would work much better in a low tech world, especially since many people years ago live from farming, and didn't travel very many miles from their place of birth in their lifetimes. Another nitpicking point of realism, is language. If the 2 civilizations almost never interact, it is unlikely that they would speak the same language, and they may even have different vocal cords, and be incapable of making all the sounds that the other species can. Don't take this criticism too seriously tho, since the rule of cool can carry an idea.
Ashley is probably less freaked out by meeting another species than most people would be, but that is fine, since the plot needs her to get eaten. Another idea that is actually realistic, would be that a human mistakes an anthro for a human wearing a good costume. It would work better at a distance tho, and on a holiday where people dress up. If an actual werewolf walked down the sidewalk on Halloween, people might compliment its costume.
I assume that the police will get involved, when people discover that Ashley is missing. If the police catch Chelsea, I assume that men(or women) in black suits, and dark sunglasses will show up, and flash their badges, and take Chelsea away.
I hope this ramble/review was helpful.
Posted by PaperWriter 1 year ago Report
For the first and third notes: Something of a link, here, actually. Chelsea simply isn't the first one to be washed down in a flood, but between species and luck, she's definitely one of very few that survived doing so. Try as they might, a government can't surveil an entire river, and bodies will be found by civilians. How these findings are explained away, well, who knows! Tell the people they're mutated monsters that live in the northern lands, or something similar. Deters explorers, if nothing else, and the fact that anyone who actually wanders all the way to the other country will near-certainly get eaten only helps. Too bad Ashley didn't live long enough to call emergency services and report a talking creature from the river.
Depending on the speed of the floodwaters, and the vague "hours" that Chelsea was in them, a gap of 50-100+ miles between civilizations may not be unreasonable, though at that point her survival becomes less believable.
Potential language barrier never occurred to me, so yeah, no idea how to explain the lack thereof.
Bonus note, the human government can send "explorers" into the no-man's-land that inevitably end up eaten by anthro colluders. Keeps the anthros from getting mad and leading a predatory army into their land. Other ways of hiding the other country and keeping citizens unaware... undetermined, so far.
I like to think of my settings as modern, and I was thinking that way when I wrote this, but it might help to think of this one as more a '50s/'60s pre-computerization era. Definitely helps with coverups and such. I don't... think I mention anything specifically modern in the story.
Chelsea getting caught is inevitable, after that things just depend on if those in power want her gone, or if someone has a use for an aquatic person that can make people "disappear." Nothing so tragic as your political rivals or protesters being eaten by wild animals...
Hopefully this is coherent because I am very tired and hitting submit on this comment is probably my last action tonight before my head hits a pillow.